Beauty may be skin deep…

Last night, while lying in bed and thinking about a face lift to give my face a softer feminine ‘glow.” It brought to mind how great it would be to have a bigger bust as well.

I have had “man boobs” for much of my life and tried to hide them by wearing loose shirts and avoiding going shirtless in public.  Now that I am a girl, my bust is something I want to accentuate and have been experimenting with various bras that lift and pull inward to give me a little bit of cleavage along with a bust.  I also have rid myself of all men’s clothing, especially the shirts that hang loose on my chest and the pants that hide the little bit of flair of my hips when I wear a belt around my natural waist, which I found is much higher than I thought when I was a man.

My male housemate was telling me about a sale on men’s shirts at a local department store and I just shuttered at the one he showed me and told him thank you but now I will only wear clothing especially designed for women to accentuate rather than hide my curves, with shapewear underneath, of course, until I can eliminate the rolls of fat along my bikini line, in my abs region and under my arms when I wear a bra.  I mean being a girl is all about the curves, right?

With the right bra I can give my bust line a nice lift and it looks fabulous under clingy tops and I thought that would be adequate until I take care of my face but as I am considering face lifts why should I not go ahead and look into breast augmentation as well, considering that the cosmetic surgeon can do both.

Anyway, that is what I’m looking at right now and both of those considerations will be the topic of discussion when I make a appointment to see a cosmetic surgeon next week.  Having that kind of information about how both types of surgeries can improve my looks while also getting a handle on the risks involved is exactly the right thing for me to do right now, considering that I have to wait at least another month or so before I can begin hormonal therapy.

The baby steps I was taking only a month ago has turned into bigger and bigger steps in the direction that I said I am going, to be the woman I’ve always wanted to be.  I mean that if medical science can give me two new hip joint implants and total mobility I haven’t experienced for years, then I think what I am proposing now sounds like a real cakewalk, medically speaking.

That’s where I am today.  Next Tuesday I get my first hot wax, from the bikini line down to my toes.  Then on Wednesday will be my first laser hair removal treatment on my face.  It just keeps getting better and better.  It is said that beauty is only skin deep, but with the beauty I am feeling inside me each new day and which has set me on the path of my wildest dreams, any help a girl can get can’t be wrong, can it?

Happy New Year to you all!  My New Year’s resolution is already made and I’m on my way!


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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