Until One is Committed

This is from a Facebook post I posted 2 years ago today, December 30, 2014.
I am practiced in setting intentions with no idea how they will be accomplished. It requires raising my level of consciousness to put the challenge into my higher power’s hands, to which I call God, and let God’s will be done. W. H. Murray, a member of a 1951 Himalaya Expedition said this:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: 
‘Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it.
  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”
-end of original post-
This quotation was my inspiration to commit myself to going to Thailand as I had researched and planned in order to complete my physical transition. I set a date for surgery with Preecha Aesthetic Institute 7 months away, booked my flights and made a deposit, all the while clueless how or from where the resources would manifest. Yet it did manifest from an unexpected source within two months with enough money to spare.
Now I am faced with a challenge of the heart that seems like child’s play compared to my transition process. However, I do not yet have the same level of willingness as before to put this challenge into God’s hands, that his will be done!
I shall pray that I will not allow myself to usurp God’s will being done!
Deanna Joy Hallmark

About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
This entry was posted in Gratitude, Providence, The Road to Bangkok. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Until One is Committed

  1. Ken Shaw says:

    For me. I find when I am torn by a decision that often the issue is what I want vs. what I think is smart or I “should” do. If I see that is the energy present, I usually go with what I want. Yes, God’s will be done, and I am God’s appointed rep relative to my life.

    Harder for me is when it seems I genuinely want both choices, and one precludes the other. The movie with A or the party with B… Happy New Year, and may whichever choice you make work out perfectly for you and all concerned.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s