How It All Began

2009-11-25Once upon a time, there was a boy who believed he should have been a girl and that there had been a big mistake

Then, very recently, Deanna,  a confident and competent woman and at the same time, a pre-teen virgin girl just becoming a young woman came out to the world as being the rightful owner of this body.. At first, I thought I would have to come out in a world of transexuals, a world full of fear and disappointment, a world where I would first have to learn how to “pass” as a woman before I could come out.

Then I realized that was not necessarily true at all.

A couple of days before Thankgiving 2011, I went to see my primary care physician who had been assigned to me the previous summer before I had double hip replacement surgery because I didn’t have a  personal doctor but required one in order to be medically cleared for surgery. The death throes for David began when I told her that I could no longer live as David.  I told her that my name from this day forward is Deanna.

On Black Friday, the new name for the day after Thanksgiving, I started to do some research online by Googling “transexual” and found a number of sites that had to do with surgery and such until i came across one which offered free advice on how to grow your own natural female breasts and also offered a package of materials to help transexual women to learn to “pass” as women instead of men.   I would learn that it contained materials on how to walk, talk, do makeup, hair, dress, etc.  It was teaching me how to be a transexual woman trying to “pass” as a woman in public.

On that Friday after Thanksgiving I received an email from the site which offered the package at 50% off if I responded by that Sunday. I rushed to my bank and deposited enough cash to cover the cost of the package and ordered online when I got home.  I spent the rest of the evening downloading all of the written material and MP3’s and began to read through them and tried some of the exercises that very night.

Then around 3 am on Sunday morning, November 27, 2011, "                               "something very extraordinary happened.  I was exploring down south, if you know what I mean and must have touched the right spot because my entire body went into a spasm and after it subsided, it repeated several times more. I imagined that this is what I had heard described as a female orgasm.

From that moment I knew that my pretended self, named David was gone.

Deanna had emerged for good and there was no going back to being David again.

Later that afternoon, I went to a public performance space in the Santa Fe Railyard District of Santa Fe to, Embodydance,  a twice weekly community free dance space which had been my anchor before and after my double hip surgery. At the end of the dance, the dancers form a circle on the floor and are allowed the opportunity to speak about their experience of the days dance without comment.  I spoke up to say that I had come to the realization that I no longer could live as David anymore, that I was now Deanna.  As far as the dance community was concerned, I was out.

Thus began my physical transition and began this blog about my transformation from being a man of sixty two toward that of a mature woman who was also a virgin to the reality shared by most girls as they are initiated into the world of their female peers  I will be recording my thoughts and feelings as they are happening and I hope you will choose to follow along.

If you want, you can click on the box to the right and follow me by email.

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8 Responses to How It All Began

  1. Teresa says:

    Great story, Deanna Thank you for posting this.

  2. Sally Scull says:

    I think what you did was an extremely corageous metamorphorsis act towards reclaiming your true physical, emotional, physiological and spiritual self. Good luck and great happinees in your new life …..
    Sally Scull

  3. Pingback: The Road to Bangkok: About Saving Face | Observations from Crossing Over to the Other Side of the Fence

  4. Shoshana Love says:

    Bless you Deanna. Your joy to live your truth uplifts the vibration for all of us!

  5. Pingback: Happy 2nd Birthday to the Woman I Have Always Been | Observations from Crossing Over to the Other Side of the Fence

  6. As we’re both about the same age I’m going to enjoy reading about your experiences.
    You go grrrl !

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