It’s been quite awhile since I last posted here. Living life as a woman has not only opened up a new world for me, it has profoundly changed my view of reality, that is, how I see the world through a woman’s eyes, how I hear the world in a woman’s ears, how I feel emotionally or think mentally and how the world always seems to see me as a “ma’am” rather than a “sir!
There are times when I have regrets for not transitioning much younger when HRT would have a more profound affect on my secondary feminine sexual characteristics. I also have some regrets experiencing such things as the coming of age as a girl or for not having all the curves that a typical cis woman has. I do get a kick sharing with other women about “putting my tits in a vice” as I like to describe having my annual mammogram knowing that women understand without having to explain what I mean.
I participated once in a game I would describe as “Sitting in the Hot Seat” to which all of us participating took our turn. We each began by telling our story and naturally I spoke about having transitioned from male to female. One of the questions asked of me was “Do I still feel in any way as the man I used to be?” My answer to the question was “Not in the slightest” or something to that effect. One of the rules was that we would tell only the truth to the questions asked and in my mind I wondered if my answer was really the truth of how I felt. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I have a vagina, I might possibly have answered differently to the question.
There have been quite a number of times that I dreamed that I still had male genitalia which to me is a sheer nightmare. When I awake from those dreams, I breathe a sigh of relief and the dream quickly fades away as if I never dreamed it at all. Those nightmares only serve to reinforce that now I am both legally and medically a “sterile female” as is described by my surgeon in a letter I took home with me to be able to update my passport from a two year passport to the full ten years afforded to any US citizen who applied for one. The letter could also be used to update my birth certificate with my new name and gender if I chose to do so,but so far, I haven’ gone through the process. Even if I did, it would only be for my own aggrandizement.
Speaking of birth certificates, there have been attempts by state legislators from states like Tennessee and Arizona to enact legislation that would require a person to use only the public restroom which reflected the gender on their birth certificate. Nothing could be more laughable than imagining the “public restroom police” standing at the door of a public restroom to check birth certificates that no legislation has ever been enacted to require a US citizen to carry on their person when they go out in public
Deanna Joy Hallmark
In the center is two pictures, the one on the left was taken on December 15, 2011 and on the right, taken on my webcam at home before I went. In the center is a statue of Quan Yin, the the bodhisattva of infinite compassion. The elephant statues represent my traveling to Bangkok, Thailand to have my surgery, thus completing my full transition to the woman I am today. 
A Spy in the Enemy Camp 