The Pearl of Great Price

While I was raised but no longer profess to be a Christian, I still find in the Christian scriptures many lessons which apply to modern life, in particular, mt own.  One such passage was brought to mind as I read of the angst of another trans person feeling lonely for having lost the love and support of her family.

In Matthew 13:45, the Master Jesus tells his followers

44“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. 45“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, 46 and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

I have spoken before about having realized ‘Heaven on Earth’ in finally living authentically as that person I always thought I should have been.  Coming out when and as I did required a leap of faith unequal to any I have made before. I had to be willing to give up everything I had known and loved, sell everything I had, as it were, to purchase the pearl of great value, that is, to live as the woman I had always thought I was born to be.

It is a sad thing that living true to oneself can be so costly.  For many, it is a price that they are unable to pay, for one reason or another. In far too many cases the cost means the loss of one’s life. For those of us who have made the sacrifices and succeeded, at least for me,  I was prepared to give up far more than I did to experience the love and joy I share living as the woman I always thought I should have been.

This was my “Pearl of great price” and I would do anything to have it. I have no regrets, except maybe not doing it sooner.

Deanna Joy

About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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