Life can be a Bitch and Oh So Sweet at the Same Time?

It is funny how sometimes everything often turns out for the best.

As I have reported in posts this past winter, about the anxiety I felt, being so close and yet so far, toward completing my transition with surgery abroad. I had forgotten my intention statement I made when I started this blog was that , before I completed transition with surgery, I will have already become the woman and person that I have longed to be, but because of my not being the person whose outward self was aligned with my inward self, I would never have fulfilled that potential, if I hadn’t finally discovered who I was and start living the life I was meant to live because who I was in my heart, mind and soul.

My beloved Carol’s illness dried up all of our assets in our house that we had worked for all of our married lives together. As a result, it was going to be a challenge to raise the funds needed for my life-affirming surgery.  The gift I have received from this challenge, is that I have reached that place of being that woman I have always wanted to be and can acknowledge, at the same time, that I have yet more to do. That is true for anyone following their soul’s path and not the path of ego.

Another interesting problem that has been on my mind regarding travel abroad for surgery and recovery, is about my cats when I’m gone away.  I may have explained that I have a female cat who lives inside with me and two male cats that use my sunroom as their kitty B & B. Now here comes the sweet part of that story.

I found out today that the black male, who my beloved and I had taken in and named Shadow, was really named Smokey and belonged to the next door neighbors. They had inserted a transponder  in his neck and he is both vaccinated and registered. She keeps the tags at home because Shadow can get a collar off by himself.

It also turns out that the other gray male cat, who my late beloved Carol named Cuatro, as he was the fourth cat in her menagerie,seems to be eating pretty well because, according to Shadow’s owner, many of my neighbors have been putting out food and water for all the cats in the neighborhood, the reason being is that all these wandering cats can control the mice and other vermin populations in the neighborhood.  It also means that my neighbors should be able and willing to look after my Pumpkin, while I’m gone to get fixed. I mean, how sweet is that?

There is one hilarious final note related to my recent posts, which I learned yesterday from my other neighbor, who took me to my doctor and then to my pharmacy, which, by the way, took a whole lot longer than we anticipated. He was wonderful about it because he knew it wasn’t my fault.

Until two weeks ago, I really didn’t know any of my neighbor’s, but circumstances have been happening on our block of late where my neighbors and I have banded together for a common cause to deal with the house next door to me. That house is owned by a man who gets paid by a program for subsidized housing of indigent persons and simply doesn’t care what his tenants do.  As it turns out,  the police and fire and rescue departments have been keeping a tab on that address and are soon going to bill the owner for all the police and emergency calls that have resulted because he has taken no responsibility whatsoever for his tenants behavior and has been making over $12000 a year on the property for years. Just wait until he gets the first bill.

Sometimes the system does work, if we let it.

That day when I wake up with a lot of cotton wadding “down there,” where my so called “manhood” used to be, is now that much closer  than it’s ever been. I can feel it!

Deanna Joy

About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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