An Offering to a Beloved Friend

In response to a fellow blogger who is on a journey of discovery like mine, I have been moved to write the following post.  In respect for her privacy, I  will neither mention her by name nor link to her post and can only hope that she may read this and accept my gift that I offer to her.

I believe that my most strongly held core beliefs have the power to determine how I feel, think and experience my life.  Furthermore, I  have plenty of “evidence” from my experiences, that the power of my beliefs, conscious or otherwise, can shape how my life unfolds before me.

Even though I have often fallen into the traps of others beliefs, I do not believe in luck, destiny or fate, and that I can choose the way my life will unfold, although it often does not conform to what I think I know on the surface of my consciousness.

Neale Donald Walsh, in the first of many volumes of his book “Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue”, tells his readers how he found himself asking a question of God one day and actually receiving an answer to his question.  Neale began to record these answers to his questions and that he was not writing the answers of his own accord, but that he was merely taking dictation.

The very first fundamental question he asked of God was to whom He speaks and how.  God replied that He spoke to everyone, all of the time, and that it was not a question of to whom He speaks but who is listening. God also said to Neale that He seldom spoke to us with words because they were often misinterpreted or misunderstood and only symbols of what is real and that He spoke to us through our feelings, our thoughts (as images, not words,) and through our experience.

God also said that we were more likely to deny our feelings, thoughts and experience in favor of words which others wrote, in His Name.  Finally, God tells Neale that in order to discern His messages from those of the others, that His messages were to be found in our highest joy, our highest truth and our highest love.

What I am offering to my dear friend, if she chooses to accept my offering, is that as long as I believe that I will never be accepted as I am, the universe will manifest everything it can to support me in that belief.  I have chosen not to go there, in fact, from the very start of my transition I have endeavored to hold nothing but the greatest good, not only for myself, but for the rest of humanity.

I am grateful for my life and I now seldom question the fact that being transgender is a very, very special gift, not a curse, and that few are ever given this gift. I believe that I have a privilege to give back to the world some of what I have learned in my journey, as I and many others have now used blogging as our way to give back in gratitude for the gifts received.  I know as I write that few may ever hear what I have to offer and that even fewer still will take the time to listen.

I believe that I have chosen to live in my highest joy, my highest truth and my highest love rather than listening to the words of others.  By and for that, I am truly blessed.

Deanna Joy Hallmark


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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4 Responses to An Offering to a Beloved Friend

  1. Ken Shaw says:

    Powerful thoughts, very well said!


  2. Kira says:


    Sorry it took so long for me to find this, I disabled all of my email notifications… they were simply getting to be too distracting. I agree with Ken, very powerful words and a powerful message. You have given me things to think about and I will. Thank you for sharing.

    Warm regards,


    • Thanks for taking the time to find me and for listening, Kira! No matter what happens, I will always hold for you the greatest joy, truth and love, even when you can’t seem to hold it for yourself and as I know you have done for me in my grief. Be well, dearest!
      Deanna Joy

  3. Coming from you, Ken, I am doubly honored. I am also holding the greatest joy for both you and S.

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