In response to a fellow blogger who is on a journey of discovery like mine, I have been moved to write the following post. In respect for her privacy, I will neither mention her by name nor link to her post and can only hope that she may read this and accept my gift that I offer to her.
I believe that my most strongly held core beliefs have the power to determine how I feel, think and experience my life. Furthermore, I have plenty of “evidence” from my experiences, that the power of my beliefs, conscious or otherwise, can shape how my life unfolds before me.
Even though I have often fallen into the traps of others beliefs, I do not believe in luck, destiny or fate, and that I can choose the way my life will unfold, although it often does not conform to what I think I know on the surface of my consciousness.
Neale Donald Walsh, in the first of many volumes of his book “Conversations with God, an uncommon dialogue”, tells his readers how he found himself asking a question of God one day and actually receiving an answer to his question. Neale began to record these answers to his questions and that he was not writing the answers of his own accord, but that he was merely taking dictation.
The very first fundamental question he asked of God was to whom He speaks and how. God replied that He spoke to everyone, all of the time, and that it was not a question of to whom He speaks but who is listening. God also said to Neale that He seldom spoke to us with words because they were often misinterpreted or misunderstood and only symbols of what is real and that He spoke to us through our feelings, our thoughts (as images, not words,) and through our experience.
God also said that we were more likely to deny our feelings, thoughts and experience in favor of words which others wrote, in His Name. Finally, God tells Neale that in order to discern His messages from those of the others, that His messages were to be found in our highest joy, our highest truth and our highest love.
What I am offering to my dear friend, if she chooses to accept my offering, is that as long as I believe that I will never be accepted as I am, the universe will manifest everything it can to support me in that belief. I have chosen not to go there, in fact, from the very start of my transition I have endeavored to hold nothing but the greatest good, not only for myself, but for the rest of humanity.
I am grateful for my life and I now seldom question the fact that being transgender is a very, very special gift, not a curse, and that few are ever given this gift. I believe that I have a privilege to give back to the world some of what I have learned in my journey, as I and many others have now used blogging as our way to give back in gratitude for the gifts received. I know as I write that few may ever hear what I have to offer and that even fewer still will take the time to listen.
I believe that I have chosen to live in my highest joy, my highest truth and my highest love rather than listening to the words of others. By and for that, I am truly blessed.
Deanna Joy Hallmark