What I’ve been up to since July

I haven’t posted in awhile because I have been living my life as the woman I’ve always wanted to be; creative, resourceful and beautiful.

The four most important things that have occupied my thoughts over these last month’s have been my 32 years partner’s imminent passing, having to raise money through garage sales and the liquidation of my coin collection, just to pay rent and other bills, mostly credit cards, finding a job, and finally, dealing with medical problems with both a jaw infection as well as a broken toe and other foot problems, not to mention my unfortunate incident with my spiritual home for the last decade or so.  The last week has added having to have some work done on my car as I will need it in my new job in the exciting field of pizza delivery.  I’ll get to that story later, in this post or maybe the next.

It is enough to have paralyzed me in former times, but in my new life as Deanna, they have simply become what’s so or as some might say, what’s next.  This has not given me the time to write or even think about writing since July and with all but my partner’s declining health having now been resolved, I am looking forward to the routine of a new job, my first as Deanna and since before my double hip surgery last summer, so that perhaps I won’t have as much time to grieve my partner, as I do each and every night and sometimes just out of the blue.

I have been in transition now for over eighteen months, since I left our home at my partner’s request, and I have crossed some major hurdles as a new woman in transition these last nine ( as compared to transitioning to become one).

Bear with me, dear readers.  As Betty Davis would be saying as she did as Margo Channing in All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night!” It certainly has!

Deanna Joy


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
This entry was posted in Juicier by the moment, Mourning and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What I’ve been up to since July

  1. Kira says:

    I wish you strength, though maybe I should be seeking some of yours… I don’t know if I could deal with all you have described half as well as you have.
    I am sorry to hear about your partner, I know there is nothing I can say to ease your heart, but know you are in my thoughts.


  2. Teresa says:

    My ride has had a few bumps but overall it’s been a smooth wonderful ride and I’m so happy I’ve taken this path. I’m sorry to hear about your partner and I hope you find another love soon.


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