Embracing the dark side

I think that the biggest lesson to yet be learned from the tragedy of 9-11-01 is exemplified in the darkness that was demonstrated in the recent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado, where, ironically, I first learned of the assassination of John Lennon in December 1980.

As a victim of some dark energy this past week in my own spiritual community, I took solace by attending another spirit minded community where the minister spoke of this recent tragedy in Colorado.  What she said was uplifting because while it is important to think of all who were touched by it and allow the space for the grief and anger to express itself in appropriate and even inappropriate ways, that it is important to remember that this man who could have possibly considered such an act of violence is still a child of the God, no more or less than we all are and that unless each one of us, no matter how close or how far removed we might be from this dark energy, can learn to embrace and forgive it, or we are allowing that dark energy that festered in the man to escape back into the shadows to emerge once again in a different form and in a different time and place.

This really hit home for me because I am still embracing the dark energy of my own grief and I know that someday it must come back into the light once again.  Today is not that day and probably not tomorrow or the next, but there will come a time when my hurt will become a gift to all involved and to the larger community of men and women everywhere.

I look forward to that day, even though I admittedly am resisting it to be able to embrace the dark energy a while longer.  All I can really ask for now is to invite those who love me to pray for me and with me until that day when I can hold my head high as the woman I have always wanted to be.

Deanna Joy

About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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2 Responses to Embracing the dark side

  1. Kira says:

    Keeping you in my thoughts.

  2. As I do you, dear Kira!

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