Yesterday, I got a real shock and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Since then, I have see-sawed back and forth in my feelings and, for me, the bricks are still falling, one after another.
It seems that a couple of women in my “spiritual” community had a problem with me using the women’s restroom and instead of bringing it to me directly or keeping it to themselves, they decided to take it to a spokesperson in the community for transmittal to me by his mouth instead of theirs. They thought that since I was open and vocal about my transition in the community and that they were not, that they had the right to send me the message of their discomfort through an intermediary because they “didn’t know what else to do.” The spokesperson, as non-judgmental as he thought he might of been in his manner of communication believes that I have no right to blame him as he was “just the messenger” and by telling me that because I was open that I should have expected this to happen.
In other words, they get to have their discomfort “off their itty bitty titties” while I must bear all of the burden that I never asked for by my openness. To me, that is like saying that I was asking to be raped because I decided to flaunt my new female sexuality instead of keeping it under wraps, that I had the audacity to invade their private space on a whim.
I haven’t decided what to do about this yet beyond this post and I hope there are some in my community who might chance upon it. Whether or not they agree with me doesn’t matter because regardless of what anyone else says, I have been violated and the violators get to remain hidden in the dark. I could easily walk away in my shame, but excuse me, I have decided that I am not going to take this lying down!