Life is getting juicier by the moment

At around six o’clock this evening I woke up from a very vivid dream.  I didn’t sleep well last night as I was excited at the prospect of stepping out from the comfort of my left brain to participate in a weekend intensive to learn the basics of Aromatic Alchemy being taught by a woman who knew me as David and who I am beginning to appreciate in such a different way now as Deanna.

In this dream, I found myself sitting in a circle of men initiated into a brotherhood of which I was a part for a little over four years and to whom in my smaller weekly circle of men I have met with since my own initiation in 2007, I discovered and came out that I was not a brother, but a loving sister.

Before the circle performed its regular ritual to create a sacred and safe space into which these men do the work of going deep into their sacred masculine energy, I asked to speak.  I stood up and in my somewhat softer, higher, breathy voice that has become my new companion of late, I began by naming myself as Deanna Joy hallmark, formerly their brother David Lee Hallmark, animal name, Dancing Raven Laughing.

The dream ended there and as I brought my consciousness back into my bedroom, I asked myself what this could mean and if it had anything to do with the fact that tomorrow is my six month’s birthday as Deanna, November 27, 2011.  As I have been recounting the many memories that I have tried to revisit from the perspective of being Deanna, I have noticed since I began hormonal therapy in February that the feelings that are invariably linked to those memories are no longer the feelings of the man I once was, but have somehow miraculously transformed those memories to those of Deanna.

My male side, if there is anything left, wants to explain this and my female side wants to laugh.

I also learned today from a TG person I just connected to on FB via a girlfriend and who used to work with my son, that my son seems to be quite a magnet for TG’s, especially MtFs, and now his Dad is FtM. He’s been holding out on me and I didn’t know.

Life is getting juicier by the moment. LOL!


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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