Finding my wings is like finding my keys

Since my last post I have moved into the next step of my journey which only days ago seemed daunting at the very least, impossible at the most.  Knowing that my insurance wouldn’t cover anything medical related to my transition and  being concerned about taking Coumadin, a blood thinning medication I have been taking for a blood clot that developed after my hip surgery last summer, on Thursday, I went to see a transgender friendly doctor who is a colleague of my own primary doctor to hopefully begin estrogen and anti-androgen therapy which would put me within a year of being able to undergo the actual surgery that will make me the woman of my dreams.

The appointment went so smoothly that I am still amazed as to how effortless it was.  After she asked me how I wanted to go about the hormone therapy and when I wanted to begin, I spoke about the options I had already read about from an online source and I wanted to begin now, if I could.   She proceeded to not only terminate my Coumadin she prescribed both an estrogen and a testosterone blocker and emailed the prescription to my pharmacy as we were talking in the examination room.

Next I was asked for a urine sample and then went to the lab down the hall to have some blood drawn. The nurse who had originally referred me to the doctor about my wanting to begin hormones therapy back in December drew some of my blood. Admiring some very elaborate tatoos she had on her chest showing above the top of the bodice of her top, I  remarked that I had always dreamed of having a butterfly tatoo just above my right breast.  We talked about tatoos for the next few minutes and she showed me one which she called a “tramp stamp” and which depicted a small set of bootprints walking up her back just above her butt cheeks.  That could be pretty sexy for a 62 years young woman, don’t you think?

I rushed to the pharmacy to find out that my two prescriptions would cost me only $17 a month.  I had feared that it might cost me anywhere from $50 to $200 per month based on what I had read in the literature I had read online, a copy of which the nurse had handed me before I left the doctors office.

To celebrate, I attended the Thursday night dance at the Embodydance community and at the end I shared about my beginning the hormone regimen and also offered one more outcome of the estrogen that was given to me by one of my new sisters of the dance who said that “Now I would be able to start throwing things about without good reason.”  Afterward another girl commented about what I said with “welcome to the club.”

Although the idea of the emotions I get to look forward to being a woman don’t necessarily sound like fun, I still think that the idea of being a part of the club sounds like a lot of fun.

On Friday, I had an ultrasound at the hospital which showed a clean bill of health regarding the blood clot telling me that my angel’s wings were never really lost at all,  just like my eyeglasses or my car keys or even my purse.



About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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