My latest challenges are two and they both are so much of equal importance that I can not neglect one while seeking the other. The first is finding a part time or full time job being openly a transgender female in order to pay the mounting credit card and medical bills I am accumulating. The second is finding another place to live to give my male housemate for the past year back his space. I can no longer pretend to be something that I’m not and at the same time I am feeling crushed under the weight of my own history which has certainly not prepared me for what I have chosen to embark upon.
Each day I am faced with the fact that all I can do now is be brazen enough to claim my identity as a member of an exclusive to all males club as best as I can, knowing that I am already living my dream life of being an uncomplicated woman with her heart on her sleeve.
For the past few days I have been up against the proverbial wall emotionally and all I can do is what comes up next to do. Today my job as the woman I want to be was writing a cumbersome resume and cover letter which bore out my unique situation fully and openly, hot waxing my torso from neck to bikini line including my B-cup breasts avoiding a big mess with a plastic dropcloth, disposable gloves and panties and lastly to write a second email to a potential house sharing situation being as frank and open as I can be.
So I will take each day as it comes and each night I will take off my makeup, bathe myself and dress up in satiny lingerie and flowing skirt and savor the joy of being a girl.
Like the struggle for Civil rights in the 1960’s, all I can do now is keep my “eye on the prize” and live each day as fully as possible.