It takes work to be an “Everyday Goddess”

I haven’t written a post for about a week but I have been a very busy girl.  Today, after an hour’s walk to the nearby Women’s Club and back,  I went to my Anti-Coagulation clinic and saw my regular nurse who I missed telling last month about my recent “change of life.”  She noticed something “different” about me and when I explained what was going on she was excited for me and we talked about all those things that we women do to make ourselves beautiful. When I spoke about my Laser treatments she told me that she has been using an electrologist for years and gave me her name.  She also told me how she had her eyebrows tatooed, something I had never considered, and now she doesn’t have to mess with them anymore.  She also complimented me on my face and I felt on top of the world.

I just love “girl talk.”  Just wait until I’m fully female and I can talk about sex.

After meeting with my pharmacist and discussing my planned estrogen therapy and other possible surgeries I headed for a facial “sculpting” consultation with a Nurse-practitioner/aesthetician at the place where I’m having my Laser hair removal treatments done to find out that I had gotten the time wrong for our appointment, so the receptionist re-scheduled me for later in the afternoon.  When she complimented me on my face, my heart took wings.

Later on at the appointment she photographed my face and we discussed the types of procedures I might do after any face lifts I may decide to have done by the surgeon to further feminize my face.  We also talked about a non-invasive alternative to liposuction called “Cool sculpting” whereby the fat is frozen and then allowed to be absorbed by the body.  Knowing all of this will be useful when I consult with the cosmetic surgeon tomorrow.

As a man, I never realized why we ladies seem to be focused on our presentation to the world, why we seem to be obsessed with making ourselves beautiful.  The men seem to think that we do it for them.  We know that is only partially true, that we really do it for ourselves.

Sometimes it takes a lot of work just to be an everyday Goddess but I’m not ashamed to say “I’m worth it!”

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About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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2 Responses to It takes work to be an “Everyday Goddess”

  1. Ellen Shapiro says:

    Deanna–I know you’re having fun being a girl, and good on you. I have just discovered the fun of it for myself, and I’m just a little younger than you are..and been a woman all along!

    Most women who are in their feminine have a deep longing to be seen and for our beauty to be recognized. Expressing our goddess nature and magnetic radiance by looking beautiful and tending to our appearance..these are all the healthy motivations for all the efforts women go to, to maximize their appearance. On the other hand, women have been manipulated into feeling that they are ugly without makeup, that there is something that needs to be hidden or covered up about their natural appearance, and to try to live up to impossible, artifical standards of beauty–model thin (which is either anorexic or Photshopped) and eternally young, denying the beauty of a mature woman and the character that shows in her face. All to sell products and the eternal chase after the perfection that cannot be had and to fuel a megabucks industry.

    • Thanks, Ellen. I feel honored by your comment because it is the only way I know that people are reading this stuff. Not having the history of growing up as a girl and a woman, I have been looking into what woman get offered to obtain an allusive beauty which I already know comes from within me. At this point, I still must put on makeup and a wig everyday to feel as womanly without as I feel inside and as a result, the makeup, the clothes and everything else that is associated with feminine beauty becomes simply an outward expression of the beauty I feel within. It is so amazing to me how many women who knew me before tell me that I am so much better at being Deanna than I ever was at being David. I consider you a role model of how transformation can come, no matter how long it takes us to realize that it has always been there for us to discover. Thank you again, Ellen for your radiant beauty I have been seeing in you these past few months and which is reflected in me every time I see you smiling back at me. Deanna

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