My First Christmas in the Sisterhood of Women

This will be my first Christmas as a woman and I have done absolutely no Christmas shopping at all.  In fact, all of the shopping I’ve been doing has been for myself, namely buying clothes, beauty products and all that I feel I need to bring about an outward transformation that will be in alignment with my inner one.

Still, my thoughts and actions around this holiday have been far from Scrooge-like.  I have been thinking a lot more about my sisters who have taken me into their loving embrace without so much as a second thought and I am looking for ways to honor them and show them my personal gratitude for their being just the way they are while accepting me just the way I am.

Generally, people think that universal sisterhood is included within the idea of universal brotherhood and in many respects, it is.  However, as a new member of this sisterhood, I definitely see a major difference in the way we sisters hold a special bond for each other that our brothers can never, ever know or understand and that although our sisterhood does exclude our brothers in many ways, it is not by intention or design.

Coming back to this being my first Christmas as a sister instead of a brother, a shift has taken place in me that is beyond the big shift that has already taken place in my coming out.  That shift is one of inclusion rather than exclusion, as has been more the way I have been living my life as a he instead of a she, and it emanates from what I believe to be a woman’s spiritual outlook towards life that is different than what I could see as a man.

Now I realize that not all women feel this way but for those of us who focus more on our spirit than on our bodies or minds, I can now see that instead of looking for what I want for my world, my life or even for my spirit, I am now looking for what we as sisters want for our world, our lives, and our spirits.  It is only the difference of a word, yet that one word makes a world of difference in the way I will now live my life as the woman I was truly meant to be.

To all my sisters and brothers, I wish you all the joy and blessings of thankfulness and giving.


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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