A Woman’s Prerogative

Yesterday I went shopping for more women’s clothes.  Last Thursday I had all but emptied my closet of my men’s clothes so I really didn’t have a thing to wear.

After buying some sweaters and a pink knit top with a V-neck at Sam’s Club, I went to Penney’s at the mall to buy a bra.  By my measurements and by the measurements taken at the store, I’m a 42B.  What I wanted was a push-up demi-cup but there was not much choice in my size although the woman who measured me helped me find one.  There were actually two, one in white and one with a leopard print so I chose the basic white for now.  It was full cup with foam shaping so I tried it on in the dressing room and it fit, at least in the back. It turned out to be on sale at half price, so I bought it, thanked the lady for all her help and left.

My confidence level shot up and so I decided to stop by the Payless Shoe store on the way home to see if they had any women’s shoes in my size which according to what I read would be a size 12 or 13.  I found the section by myself and behold there was a size 13 which I tried on.  It was actually too big so I found another like it in a 12 and it was exactly what I had pictured in my mind for everyday wear, if it weren’t already winter.  Still they are perfect to wear in the house and to take to the dance space to use on the wood floor because they have not been worn on the street.  I also found a pair of cute white cross-trainers which I would be needing come spring to start a daily jogging practice to get my girlish figure back in shape.  It was marked down from $35 to $17.  Yippee!   I then checked out some socks,  shoe liners and some tights and had them all rung up.  I was ecstatic.

I rushed home all excited and proud of myself and couldn’t wait to try everything on.  I had bought the sweaters and the v-neck in size medium because I thought I might possibly be able to get away with the smaller size because of the bulk.  I decided that large would be better so I put them back in the bag to exchange later.

I tried on the tights, size Large but they didn’t quite cover my fanny so I decided I could exchange them for a Queen size.  Now I know what it is for women who must sometimes return things.

Getting back to the 42B bra I bought;  I have been wearing some bras that I bought at Walmart a couple months back and which I had altered by hand by adding elastic to the band in the back.  They are lacy and see through because I removed the foam shaping and padding and they actually give me both uplift and some cleavage.

This bra was more like a couple of huge white tents and while they did make my top a bustier shape, underneath it did not make me feel pretty at all.  Whether I can take it back or not, it was only $20, so if I wanted to throw it on the fire in the fireplace, I could.  I don’t think my male housemate would appreciate that because the burning foam cups could be toxic and he is quite sensitive to such things.  As to bra shopping, I think I need to go on to plan C.  Whatever!!

Now I know it really is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind… a lot!  I also understood what shopping for a woman is really all about which I could never really see before, as a man.  It not only boosted my confidence, it helped make me feel beautiful inside.


About Deanna Joy Hallmark

I am a post-op transgender woman who has now completed transition and living my life as the woman I was born to be. I have been writing my blog, now titled "A Spy in the Enemy Camp - A transgender woman’s perspective from having lived as a man among men" since December 2011. Originally a record of my process and feelings in transition, last summer in 2013 it took on observations from both sides of the gender binary and now will also be looking at my past life pretending to be the man I never was and how it finally brought me to where I am today, the beautiful intelligent woman I had always believed I should have been since I was little.
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