I woke up this morning in the pre-dawn hours feeling a tingling in my nipples. I cup my breasts in my hands for a moment and then decide to get up and put on a bra. Then as I start to get back into bed I feel a sensation in my penis and think to myself that this is not my penis but my clitoris so I get up and put on a tighter pair of panties and feel more comfortable. Then I sit down to my computer to record it all as it is happening.
I start to feel chilly so I put my flannel jammie bottoms that I saved from my men’s clothes that I packed away on Friday morning and then a women’s hoodie that I bought. As I zip up the hoodie I look down and admire my breasts as the show over the top of my bra cups and feel comfortable once again.
When I first became aware of myself this morning I remembered a time back in 1977 when I was sitting in my kitchen in Albuquerque, NM with a friend with who I had done the est Training earlier that year. We had become friends and where having a dinner of salad, chicken and steak and talking about what men seem to talk about a lot which is, of course, having sex with women.
My friend, whose name I have forgotten, was telling me that when he had sex with a woman, that what he enjoyed most about having sex was the depositing of his ejaculate into her vagina. Listening to him, I started to squirm in my chair.
Why didn’t I feel that way? Was there something wrong with me? I didn’t want to talk about it anymore as I felt a distancing from my friend rather than the closeness I had felt a few moments before. I had to put the whole image out of my mind as quickly as possible.
As I finish writing the last paragraph I lean back in my chair and cross my arms under my breasts for a moment, something I have always noticed in women when I sense that they are feeling uncomfortable. I stretch my arms way out to my sides and arch my back a moment and relax once more.
I step away from my computer, open my bedroom door and step into the cold hallway. I set the thermostat up to 74 and open the shade and shutters in the dining room bay window. I boil some water and make myself a cup of chai.
I have been drinking a whole lot more water lately. In fact, I now keep at least two bottles in the bathroom, my bedroom and in other places around the house so that they are convenient. I read somewhere that women get dehydrated more quickly than men but there seems to not be a consensus among researchers whether this is true. Just a thought.
I feel the stubble of my beard on my face. As a man, I felt that shaving was such a chore but now I love the sensation of shaving which is something I often do several times a day now that I must make my face look more feminine.
I get up and head for my bathroom and as I see myself in the mirror I unzip my hoodie to admire my breast in the mirror. They are small but adequately fill the B-cup demi bra I am wearing and they do look lovely over top of the lacy cups.
I lean over the sink to was my face with Dove. I shave my face and instead of putting on makeup to cover the shadow I simply powder it. The powder gets on my black hoodie so I unzip it and pull it down to hang around my waist while I finish powdering my face and then I powder my breasts over the cups of my bra. It feels so natural to do that.